2.  There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans.  No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin.  If you are hell-bent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm.  And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories.  None have." That's "none" as in "zero".  Not even your friend's cousin.

3.  Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe.  And even if they do, we all have it.  And even if you don't, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html.  Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.

4.  We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate co-workers gross out bathroom stall neighbors and creep out people on an elevator.  We also know exactly how many engineers, college students, Usenet posters and people from each and every world ethnicity it takes to change a light bulb.

5.  In spite of all the "This is Legal and Works!" hype, Chain Letters asking to mail money do not work.  Nobody sends money up the chain before reposting them and you probably don't see any reason to do so either.

6.  Congress and the FTC decided a long time ago they would avoid anything even remotely like a "Modem Tax" to save their jobs.  They also have big waste baskets full of letters and messages that get generated everytime someone discovers one of the old hoax messages citing non-existant bills that refuse to die.

7.  Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?

8.  There is no "Good Times" virus.  In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any E-mail containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses.  Try: http://www.norton.com.  And even then, don't forward it.  We don't care.

9.  If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your message, you're probably going to Hell.

10.  If you're using Outlook, I.E., or Netscape to write E-mail, turn off the "MIME and HTML encoding." Those on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.

11.  If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months.  It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line.  Besides, if it has gone around that many times - we've probably already seen it.

12.  Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards.  He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.